The Hardest Fight I’ve Ever Faced: My First Days After Heart Surgery

I’ve been in some fights. I’ve been in about 20 jiu jitsu matches and I’ve had one kickboxing fight, not to mention 100s of rounds of sparring… but nothing could prepared me for this fight.

And honestly, I thought I had prepared myself for this. I knew open-heart surgery would be hard, but nothing could have braced me for just how brutal it has been. The pain, the exhaustion, the sheer weight of what my body is going through… it’s all been so much more than I ever imagined.

They were able to repair most of my leaking valve, and while the problem will always be part of me, at least progress is slowly being made in the right direction. By day four, I could finally see a glimmer of improvement. Still, the road feels endless at times.

It’s been 6 days since my surgery…

Just when I thought I was making progress, recovery hit me with a gut punch. Atrial fibrillation came crashing in, knocking me flat. My heart went from slow steady recovery to chaos. Sleep became impossible. Yesterday felt hopeful, but today? I felt like trash in every sense of the word and I feel defeated.

And yet, there was one small victory, I got my first shower in six days. It sounds small, but trust me, it felt monumental. In recovery, sometimes the wins look different than you expect.

What’s carried me? The prayers. Every single message, every word of encouragement—I’ve felt it. And I don’t take that lightly. Setbacks happen. But I’m not backing down. God is still in control, even when it feels like I’m not.

This took me and voice texting about 2 hours to write. I’ll write more when I have some strength and energy. For now, thank you again to God for his grace.